I came across a fascinating study which concludes that we spend 12% of our thinking time in comparison thinking.
"Research examined the relative frequency of social, counterfactual, past-temporal, and future-temporal comparison in daily life using an experience-sampling method, in which participants were randomly prompted to record thought samples using palmtop computers carried for two weeks. Comparative thought accounted for 12% of all thoughts."1
Can that be? One more time... Comparative thought accounted for 12% of all thoughts."
In our soon to be released book, BREAKOUT: Six Mindsets that Impact Everything, we do a little self-deprecating social comparison of Wayne Gretzky's NHL statistics with mine:
“Let’s take my NHL career and compare it with Wayne Gretzky’s. From the time we played together on Team Canada at the World Junior Championships during December, 1977, and through to the end of our pro playing days, here’s the picture: Gretzky scored 20 or more goals per season 15 times, and 30 or more goals, 13 times, while I had seven seasons with 20-plus goals, and one with 30-plus.
Gretzky finished his 20 NHL seasons with1,487 games played, scoring 894 goals and 1,963 assists, and amassing 2,857 total points. My NHL career lasted 15 seasons and 1,003 games, and I scored 264 goals, with total points at the 646 mark. Gretzky holds 56 NHL records and won four Stanley Cups. I don’t hold an NHL record and have only one Stanley Cup ring.”
Comparing my accomplishments to Wayne’s certainly could potentially negatively skew my self-image! The lesson I learned over 15 seasons in the NHL, however, was to adjust my attention away from dwelling with a Past-Negative social comparison-focus, towards a Future-Positive personal compete-focus.
Wayne is an amazing person and is the greatest offensive NHL player in history, but that social comparative fact does not need to reduce my self-image, or my ability to compete. This compare or compete concept is worthy of discussion as current social media apps continue to show off other people's best everything for you and I to compare with. "According to the Pew Research Center, 69% of adults and 81% of teens in the U.S. use social media. This puts a large amount of the population at an increased risk of feeling anxious, depressed, or ill over their social media use."2 From bodies to bank accounts, we are subliminally asked daily to socially compare ourselves to other people's projected (and possibly invented) statistics.
Back to the research: 12% of all of the thoughts we have daily are focused on comparing? Wow. This study claims that not only were 12% of the thoughts sampled comparative, but 7.1% of all thoughts sampled were self-focused comparisons. In Breakout (click here to be informed on when the book is released - April 2025), we encourage the idea of being more intentional rather than "reactional" with our cognition. What if we were to become better at directing our self-focussed social comparative thoughts towards a Future-Positive skill development focus?
Back to my example: Instead of comparing the statistical outcomes between Wayne and I, what if I used the same mental energy/focus to increase my skill in an area that Wayne excelled in? For example, Wayne used the back of the net to his offensive advantage. As an NHL forward, I could have worked on better utilizing that tactic.
"The only person you should compete with is the person you were yesterday." Dr. Prem Jagyasi
Breakout also introduces us to the new language of Laser Thinking vs Lazy Thinking as a way to be less "reactional" and more intentional with our thoughts. This simple concept is one of the methods we can use to modify our metacognition (our thinking about our thinking). Social comparison that leads us down the "they are so much better than me" road is a great example of Lazy Thinking. In Lazy Thinking mode, we continually allow outside information to negatively impact our inner game. Laser Thinking receives the same stimuli, but then pauses in what we call Practice Thinking, and asks questions like:
"Can I learn from this?"
"Is this beneficial?"
"Will this thinking help me achieve my desired future?"
"Do I need to even skate down this road?"
Victor E Frankl describes this process very eloquently:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Using this space to pause (think about our thinking) is a brilliant opportunity to increase Laser Thinking. We can choose to reduce our "reactional," negative social comparison, and instead choose increased, intentional, positive opportunities to compete.
As you write in your journal reflecting on your day, ask yourself:
In my conversations, in my mind, with my focus, did I spend my energy
comparing or competing?
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